Motivation

Okay so my younger brother called me today to let me know that he and his girlfriend got engaged this week. He also informed me that the wedding was going to be about this time next year. Well what better reason to embark on my 100 pound journey than to have an excuse to get a pretty dress! So I am debating whether or not I want to make my own dress or if I want a dress like a ck bradley, lilly, milly, jmac...im not sure but I know I will need a new wardrobe if I am going to attend the wedding with my new body!

So his advise was to start the P90X series from beachbody.com. I have Chalean Extreme so I am going to do that instead. And starting tomorrow, er today I am going to start walking...OUTSIDE! My ultimate goal...to run on a daily basis. Experience what runner's high is like. I am sure it will far surpass those cravings of bad foods! I also want to do yoga about 2 times per week.

I know I will need to take multivitamins daily. I am going to read Jillian Michaels' new book about incorporating all aspects of weight loss into one program in order to lose the weight AND keep it off! So join me in my journey to the Me I want to be!

My 100 lb Journey begins today...again!

Hello! It's been a while. I have been living la vida loca for the first part of the year! Going to school full time, working full time, being a wife and mother...FULL TIME! And here comes my excuse....wait for it, wait for it...I didnt have time focus on my weight loss! Imagine THAT! LOL!!!

So this go round I am not going to go on a diet "per se" I am going to modify my sugar intake and minimize what I eat. You know the 80/20 rule? Well my modification will be I am going to only eat 80% of what I normally eat and lets see how far that takes me! Wish me luck!

Refocus

Yesterday was a big day for me. I found out that I did not do so well on two tests that i had yesterday and it was really an eye opening experience for me. I need to really regroup and refocus on what my priorities are and really stick to them. and my priority is the following:

1. Pass all my prerequisite courses
2. Get accepted into the nursing program at daytona state.
3. To complete all my nursing courses with a B or higher.
4. To graduate from the nursing program Fall 2011.

Well I am off to a rocky start! NOt good
But Im gonna get back on track so I can achieve all those goals I plan to achieve! I had a friend tell me today that he was so impressed that when i set my mind to a goal and stick to it! and I need to get back to that erika the erika that does whatever it takes to achieve her goal. Setting my goals and priorities and sticking to them. Well that is what im going to do and nothing can stop me!!!!

Watch out world!
e.

Day 4, I think

So I started this "diet" called the Beck Diet it uses cognitive therapy to help with weight loss. The "thing" to this diet is that it helps you think like a thin person in 6 weeks. Well I thought with that and weight watchers I should be 50 lbs lighter by my 39th birthday. I want this bad I want to be able to wear the clothes I like and not clothes I settle for! I have noticed but have not mentioned that I have the dark marks on my cheek bones like really obese people. Because for my build I am considered obese. Even though I may look like a size 14 according to some I am actually a size 20 and I weigh 238 lbs! I can not have this anymore I am tired of not being happy with the person i see in the mirror. I want to see the person Im suppose to see and that is a size 4 weighing about 140 lbs. or actually 130 lbs but I would be happy with being like 136 lbs. I would not have big boobs or the fat rolls down my sides and I would be able to wear cute dresses and skirts and blouses from those 50's and 60's patterns I bought.

I really have to set my priorities straight. I was able to conquer the school grades and now I achieve A's. I was able to conquer the money thing...I got a job and I made a budget and now I am sticking to it and I am on the road to financial recovery. But why cant I get over this weight issue. I can not seem to lose and keep it off. I am obssessed with loosing weight but I get no where. I get on these eating binges and it is like I can not get off of them. When I set my mind to sticking to the plan I all of a sudden I get the cravings for things I dont want or need. And I give into the cravings instead of ignoring them. I have to learn to get used to different things. Like the tast of fat free or low fat mayo. If i dont do so Im never going to lose the weight. There are alot of other things I have to get used to. The taste of healthier foods. The fact that I need to go to the grocery twice a week for fruits and vegetables.

New Year, New Perspective

On Christmas day I signed up for Weight watchers online. I have not really stuck with it but tried to. For a month I really did not make an effort but the last couple days I have really been more aware. Looking at life from a different perspective and that is because I started reading this new book The Beck Diet Solution by Judith S Beck, Ph.D. She uses cognitive therapy in order to help you lose weight. I wrote my ARC or Advantage Response Cards two days ago and just reading them on a regular keeps me more aware of the things I put in my mouth. It really makes me think. And I really like that. Today Im feeling a bit discouraged but hopeful. I am slowly believing that I will actually be the me I want to be. I just have to use the cards to remind myself of the reasons why I want/need to lose weight! I remember the days I would watch Dawson's Creek and just dream of being as slender as Joey and Michelle. I want that. I was looking at pictures online of these really cute preppy clothes and the skinny girls that were wearing them. That is supposed to be me I thought and it will be me! I ate an unhealthy dinner tonight but shortly thereafter I did 15 minutes of turbo jam. That always puts a smile on my face! Of course it gave me an asthma attack and a headache but nonetheless I was happy! So stay tuned Im giving this a go!

Im at my wits end!!!!

I just dont know what to do. I need motivation I need something. I bought a book today regarding the GI index hopefully it will be easy to read. I want to lose 23 lbs in 10 weeks. It is just 10% of my current weight. I am not sure how to bring it all together..im not sure what to do. Im a bit depressed. I want to be slender. is that so much to ask? well apparently it is. i remember this time last year i was motivated but now im not! why. i just feel like giving up. i keep thinking when i move when i do this when i do that then i would lose the weight! well it aint happening. well i will start listening to renee again that seemed to keep me motivated. it helped me believe i can do it. ok i will try again.

All is good with the world!

So I found out today that I got approved for a house in my mom's neighborhood! I am so elated! It has been a slow going process from living in the hood to now moving up to a home. I never in a million years did I think we would live in a real home again. After the nightmare in Georgia I never thought that I would ever get back to this life...life in a home! Joe is going to get his settlement and we have a plan. In 6 years we have a plan! Life is wonderful! Now I promised myself that I am going to continue with living the life I want to live and this is the first major step! Next will be to get plan going and then executing the plan!

Well I am going to spend time with my hubby and work on my new plans! I will post how I plan to execute my plans! Stay tuned...