I haven't blogged because I feel like a failure. I start things and I never finish them. You name it I don't finish it. I am a master of not finishing anything. So then I feel like I've failed and I'm not perfect so I hide out and read other people's blogs while feelings of inadequacy creep in.
Listen between Facebook and the skinny people showing off how much fun they are having at their fabulous vacation homes and bloggers who actually follow through and live their dreams it makes me want to just turn in my ID card and just give up.
I feel very discouraged most days and it has contributed to my lack of motivation to do anything. My home is in an utter state of disaster...at least for me it is. I have a laundry list of things to do with my ribbon business and transitioning into my design business compounded with the responsibilities of home keeping! Oy vey!
I have to say since I've lost my job I'm not nearly as angry as I have been and I really relish the time I have with my family and being home. I still feel like I could be a better mom. But I will always feel that way...I have the Catholic guilt.
I've learned to be grateful and content with what God has given me and it really feels great. I've never been content with life and now I'm learning to be. That's HUGE for me. Now I hope that he can give me the motivation I need to eat better, exercise, and feel better about myself.
Baby steps I guess.
I can relate to this. I can look back to the near (and distant) past and see a string of projects and intentions hovering, waiting, with ellipses and question marks following after them. I'm getting better about it, in part because I'm not taking on so many things at once any more. It's amazing what happens when I don't try to juggle a dozen things at once. I love your honesty. Thank you for sharing. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try to focus on one thing at a time. That is so difficult for me. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment! Have a great weekend!
DeleteOh that Catholic guilt is a b*tch! The good news is the anger you were harboring is dissipating and youre finding the special things in life! I say start one thing on your list and you may just find as you finish that up you'll feel that sense of accomplishment and the drive to want more of it. It can snowball into the bigger picture and help you get balanced. Baby steps is definitely key ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your advice Carbie Girl. I always feel compelled to try and "multitask" and that gets me NO WHERE! I'll continue to take baby steps. Thanks again and have a great weekend!
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