What am i doing

I have not focused on losing this weight one bit. Class reunion has come and gone and i have done shit about losing this weight. The good news is that I was able to convert Joe's gym membership to mine so i can go to the gym and workout again. It will be a commitment but i have to do it.i think i would do better to make a schedule. So im gonna work on that this week. i gotta stop feeling like this. Well i better get to work...

A new avatar

So I made the perfect avatar on yahoo. It is a cartoon of the me i want to be...bad news is i cant post it here! damn it! I am skinny and i have straight shoulder length black hair...i look hot well at least the cartoon does. so tomorrow i am going to start on a high protein diet...and then do a mile
friday i will transfer membership at the gym to me...i cant continue to make excuses
i hate having to try clothes on and look like a fat freak. I want to have more self confidence and this is the only way im going to be able to regain it. maybe i will be more social...yeah right
well tomorrow is a new day...

Well it was bound to happen

Yesterday Maddy called me FAT! I was so upset...inside of course. I really have to do something but it is like I am stuck. I dont want to lose weight for fear of attention but I want to lose weight because I am tired of being fat! I keep avoiding that damn diet and I wonder why I got caught up in it to begin with. I have to really sit down and figure the shit out!

But anyway. Joe and I really need to do something because we are slowly killing ourselves and we cant do that to maddy. She deserves to have both mommy and daddy there for her. Not to mention we need to be more fit and slender to be a much better role model for her.

So tonight at least what is left of it I am going to make the promise to myself to read and understand that damn diet!

What a day...

Well another day has come and gone and well I am not anywhere closer to my weight loss goal yet. I plan on being though. I had a stressful day and I really wanted to get away. If today is any indicator of what being a store manager is like then they can have the job. Anyway I have got to work on my cognitive therapy for weight loss. I will start tomorrow!

Toodles poodles!

Going to bed

Well I am going to head to bed and get some much needed sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a great day and a new start of the life I want to live! I got some new catalogs to inspire me so I am going to go and lay down next to my hubby and immerse myself in happiness!

In the beginning

Well this is the first installment of my journey to...The ME I want to be...

I am so tired of being fat! I am so tired of not being consistent with getting in shape. I want to be happy with the person i see in the mirror and I am not. Maddy will be 5 this week and she is slowly creeping into obesity! I have got to stop the madness...I can just scream! I need to get a handle on my life and I need to do so now! I am at the helm of possibly getting the kate spade store manager job and i am so stressed. I need to really chill out and enjoy the ride but i am overwhelmed.

I have got to start today! A customer came in the store yesterday and told me of this fabulous clothing company j. McLauglin...OMG I love their clothes!!! where the hell have i been? this brand has been around for a while and I did not even know it! Well their clothes are really affordable and I want to be able to wear them but I am too fat!

So my goal is to get back in shape, eat healthier, get down to my goal size of a size 6 and life the full happy life that i want to live! I have to learn to be happy with me and well that may be a long process but since i have my new blog I am sure I will get there!

So stay tuned!