Great Friends

I have to say that I have great friends. My friends believe in me more than I do sometimes. For example, a friend of mine stop by yesterday because it had been a while since we visited. We talked about many things his unfulfilling job,  my new role as a work at home mom, soap operas,  and then I brought up my weight.

I probed him to give me the "skinny" so to speak on his friends. You see the girls he hangs out with are slim so you know I had to ask him how do they stay so slim. Is there a secret? He said no not really other than they're mindful of what they eat and they exercise. You know a "healthy lifestyle." Well I was looking for some dirt but apparently his other friends aren't as "dirty" as I thought. Then he mentioned to me "Erika you CAN do it. Never say never."

I thought to myself...HE thinks I can do it? Has he seen me impersonate a slug, unmotivated, discouraged, and broken? The closest way I get to a yoga class is by pulling on my yoga pants. Of which my 7 year old doesn't understand why I call them that because you have to wear yoga pants TO a yoga class and my pants have only seen the bus stop and the occasional quick trip to Wal-mart.

Here I have another friend who truly believes I can actually get to my goal weight. I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who believe in me when I don't believe in myself. Are you? If not why not? Post below.

Best.

I have a confession to make

I haven't blogged because I feel like a failure. I start things and I never finish them. You name it I don't finish it. I am a master of not finishing anything. So then I feel like I've failed and I'm not perfect so I hide out and read other people's blogs while feelings of inadequacy creep in.

Listen between Facebook and the skinny people showing off how much fun they are having at their fabulous vacation homes and bloggers who actually follow through and live their dreams it makes me want to just turn in my ID card and just give up.

I feel very discouraged most days and it has contributed to my lack of motivation to do anything. My home is in an utter state of disaster...at least for me it is. I have a laundry list of things to do with my ribbon business and transitioning into my design business compounded with the responsibilities of home keeping! Oy vey!

I have to say since I've lost my job I'm not nearly as angry as I have been and I really relish the time I have with my family and being home. I still feel like I could be a better mom. But I will always feel that way...I have the Catholic guilt.

I've learned to be grateful and content with what God has given me and it really feels great. I've never been content with life and now I'm learning to be. That's HUGE for me. Now I hope that he can give me the motivation I need to eat better, exercise, and feel better about myself.

Baby steps I guess.

"Secrets" we keep

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I went for a walk today because I've been bored with my workout DVD's lately. I actually had the desire to walk in the daytime. I truly prefer to walk under the stars! Unfortunately having almost being hit by a neighbor I don't do that anymore. Anyway on my journey I thought about alot of things. I'll share my top two with you.

First thing I thought about was the fact that I was facing a fear! Yay me! I dislike walking in the daylight as much as I dislike trying on clothes in a dressing room. My first thought when walking in the daytime is that people/neighbors can see my fat jiggling on me as I walk. Knowing people can see my fat jiggling as I walk really makes me uneasy. Today when those thoughts started to creep into my brain I mentally screamed...STOP THE MADNESS! Yep, I yelled at that inner child, the Debbie Downer that lives inside. I found out something...she SHUT UP! Imagine that! I began to walk with a bit more confidence and my shoulders back. It felt great. That takes me to the next thought I had, the secret I'm keeping. <Cue the suspenseful soap opera music>

I felt giddy inside (after I scolded the inner Debbie Downer) while I was walking and thought that I'm in the process of my big reveal! In the spirit of the typical home renovation show where at the end of the show they have the "Big Reveal." Well that's my secret. Working on my personal "big reveal" I'm choosing to do a little everyday towards my health and weight loss.

No matter what I do as long as my behavior and actions chip away at my weight and negative self talk I continue to work on my "secret." You know how I'll know my secret is out? When that first person makes the comment..."Hey Erika, have you lost weight?" Then I'll know my secret will be out. Typically when other people who also struggle with weight see that you've achieved a weight loss milestone the next question is "What is your secret?" That's when I can smile and say..."I just chose to start." In essence that is what kept me away from my goal weight. Just being able to start to DO something about my weight. Not complain, not whine, just start.

So has your "secret" been revealed? If so how did you feel? How did you feel during your journey? Did you feel like giving up? What motivated you to keep going? What motivated you to start? Post your comment below. I'd love to hear from you.

Lose It!

Have you heard of this app? I had it on my iPhone and then when I upgraded to the 4S I didn't add it back to my phone until I found out there was something special about it.

I was reading online the wonders that is Lose it. What sold me was that the app allows you to scan barcodes and it will populate the nutrition information regarding that item! What the heck!?!?! I have an extremely hard time tracking what I eat. Call me lazy or whatever you want I just can't sit down and write out what I ate. Just like I can't sit down and plan out what I need to eat. I try really I do. But I just have a really hard time. I have to say that on average I track my foods 4 times out of a week. Not too bad.

So are you good about tracking your foods for the day? If so what are your methods? Post below!

New Motivation

I have to say that I'm so motivated by my progress that I had to share it with you. While everyone knows I want to lose weight and fit into my fashionable Friday outfits, that motivation was not enough for me to stick to my plan.

One of my MANY goals for 2012 was to work out AT LEAST 3 times per week come rain or shine, or anything. I'm so proud to say that I stuck to my goal this week. And my motivator now...was knowing that I'm working toward eliminating my chronic back pain. Who would have thought that PAIN is a more powerful motivator than striving to wear a size 4 kate spade dress.

My breasts are the bane of my existence. I can never get comfortable because of them. I can't even lay on my stomach if I wanted to. We won't even talk about how difficult it is to do a push up or jumping jacks (black eyes, just joking)! Ugh!

I feel so accomplished by working out 3 times this past week. So my goal this week will be to work out 4 times. My ultimate goal is to workout out 5 to 6 days per week. I select a variety of workouts so I don't get bored with a typical routine. Not to mention it prevents plateau so my body doesn't get used to a typical workout.

I've started this week with a great start working out 2 out of 2 days! Yay. Who would have thought knowing that the constant gnawing pain in my upper back was all that I needed to motivate me to MOVE!

What motivates you to move? Do you prefer to workout in the morning or in the evening or throughout the day? Post below.

Weight Watchers

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I know you're going to think that I'm all over the map when I tell you, I joined Weight Watchers tonight. Yes I did. I was reading some of my old journals and I noticed something. While some of the journal entries were over 7 years old it seemed like all I did was complain about the following over and over:
1. How I was tired of being fat
2. How I planned on losing weigh this time
3. How my husband doesn't understand me and I constantly droned on about one thing or another regarding who he is as a person.
4. How I want to work for myself.

Fast forward 7 years...not much has changed. No matter where you go there you are. Well I'm really ready for a change. I'm tired of complaining yet not doing anything about it.

Last year I was a bit put off by weight watchers because I signed up for 4 weeks and walked away 5 pounds heavier at the end of those weeks. I said "I'd be damned if I'm going PAY weight watchers to GAIN WEIGHT!"

So this year I'm going to STOP obsessing over losing weight and just focus on living a healthier lifestyle. And that means not beating myself up inside because I had a bite of this or that or I didn't do an exercise or whatever.

I feel that doing weight weight watchers will help me stick to a plan while having a variety of foods. One thing that Atkins doesn't do. I can no longer do Atkins because I lost a significant amount of hair and I didn't have much to begin with.

I will let you know how my weigh in goes next Tuesday night.

Questions of the day:
1. Are you doing weight watchers? If so how is journey going? Have you won any awards?
2. If you aren't doing weight watchers what are you doing and why did you choose that weight loss plan?

Burn 100 Calories

Something we can do when we don't want to or have much time to work out.

Source: bing.com via Erika on Pinterest