Panic has set in!

Yes, you read that right. The panic I'm talking about is the fact that I'm unemployed and still have to pay my bills! Yikes. You know what scares me more? The fact that I may have to work for someone else. I have to say the older I get the less tolerant I have of people's personalities that seem to clash with mine. I don't do well with the boss who is so self-absorbed that he has a hissy fit if he doesn't get his way. I'm over that. I'm 40 and I feel that I deserve a happy, non-toxic, peaceful work environment. As a child you have to tolerate quite a bit because you have no choice, you're stuck where you are until you're able to move out. I feel as an adult we have choices and we can rise above our childhood shortcomings and create an adulthood that is more conducive to our personalities. For me that is staying away from toxic people.

Back to my panicking, I really, really, really don't want to go back into the work force. I'm perfectly content staying at home and earning a living. The problem with that is mainly that the bills are due NOW and my earnings will come later than sooner. Getting used to income rolling in on a sporadic basis is pretty tough to get used to. I guess that is why so many people stick to their crappy jobs and bosses only because they know there will be a check at the end of the week.

These last few weeks have been a challenge for me. I'm trying to manage my time, not get overwhelmed, while maintaining a healthier lifestyle. Good news is I haven't gained a ton of weight! Yay me! But I have gained some. Let's just say the number over there >>>>>> for My Fitness Pal is not quite correct. You may want to add a pound or seven! Alright back to my panicking!

One thing I definitely want to become this year is a runner. At this point in my weight loss journey it will be a challenge only because my weight really makes it difficult to jog, let alone run. Until I'm able to run I will begin power walking. The biggest obstacle for me is walking outside in the daytime. I know that sounds crazy but I enjoy walking at night under the stars! I like being enveloped by the darkness. I don't particularly care for walking in the day where people can see me and the fat rolls bounce up and down. Today I'm leaving my comfort zone and I'm going to take a walk. My ultimate goal is to walk/jog/run when I need to relieve stress. My only stress reliever at this point is playing Cityville on Facebook and let's face it that is a complete waste of productivity time. I want to accomplish quite a bit this year and my time is precious.

My question of the day is what makes you panic? How do you "talk-yourself-off-the-ledge" when panic sets in? Please post your comments below. Have a great day!